Feel Homesick

Living away from home for the first time really make me homesick. Feeling like going hoe but i cant. Homesick really make me unable to sleep. I just feel the power of home.

5 Day to go

Left 5 day. I am going to stay at KL. Further my study. Feel nerveous when thinking of it. I havent prepare everything that i need. Need to spend time to pack and my thing.

A few days to go..

Still left a few day(feel so nervous and excited). I am going to experience the first time in my life living other place. It is also the time that i am going proceed with my tietary education. Hope that my aim will be achieve during the studies..

Around The Corner

Still have to wait 1 week + more , i will be moving into the bustling city in malaysia that is Kuala lumpur. It just around the corner, and is the matter of time to move in to setapak in order to pursue my tietery education.

Who do you all think i am??

From adult to the smallest in the house asking for changing money, even a stranger asking for me for money. They think i am a banker. If that is their thinking i csnt do annything. I am just a person that has money just enough for my tietery education maybe not enough.

Two Weeks To Go

Still left two weeks, and i will be officially going to proceed to my degree, i am waiting for the offer letter. Waiting patiently.

Mix feeling

A lot of thing happen last few day. Mix feeling of happy , dissapointed, angry  and sad.

Eagerly Awaiting The Result

I am eagerly waiting for the fianl result for my chemistry subject. When i enter the portal i saw there is a final sem result, then i click it all of them is C, feel a little disappointed then i stun for a while. And ask myself "i only take one subject only right?" Then i see clearly ,it is actually my third sem result. Therefore i still have hope to get A+. But i am afraid right now.

My New Aim For Now.

After finishing the final exam, and most probbably i will be proceeding to my degree next month. I have a few new aim that i want to achieve from now on. The first one is to get at least band for for MUET exam that is around the corner. The second i hope to learn and understand a foreign language by myself. It will be korean language. And the third aim as well as the most hardest is that i hope to become first class honour student .I have Aim it and i am DETERMINE to get it..

The Price Made Me Say Yes

Yesterday was looking for a room to rent. This is for my living in setapak to further my tietery eduation. My first impression  for the room and the house is quite small. But i say ok for that. What made me say the word is the pricing of the room . I believe that i cant find it at other place that price. Although is small but i still have to be patient for just a few year. If i am rich in future,definately  going to buy the  most comfortable house..

THE END..

After entering sem four , i keep on repeating reading the same note until yesterday it is all over. Yesterday was my final examanation , although the question was quite tricky but i manage to do it, hope that i will get good result. It was " THE END" . The end for pj life. I will miss all thing that i done at pj, every corner that i go and people that i meet.

D-Day

Four more day is the D-Day. It is my final examination. I have work hard for it and i will do my extra best in order to fullfill what i aim for. The next three day i will not on social network so that i can pay fully attention.

Determine

I have the highest mark for coursework mark but this does not secure me to get an A+. For the test i have work very hard. In order to get A+ for the final i need to work extra very hard. And i  mean it. Because i am determine to Get A+.

I Hate That

When you pick me. We should going to look that together.But what make me piss off is you go to look first and after that you confirm everything only call me to look it. That is an irresponsible act that i hate the most.

My result Flop

What am i doing. After getting my test 2 result i feel a little dissapointed. My result has flop by 1.5 marks compare to test 1. And i am not the highest annymore. Some one overcome me. I have to do something the overcome the unknown that has get the higher mark. Test 2 is quite tricky . If the question is not tricky i will have more time to be able to check my mistake, and i will get 40 mark.For the final i will spend as much time as possible to check. And for final i can only to lost 6 mark over 100. That what i aim for..

For That I am Really Speechless

It was a tiring day. From morning to afternoon i have attend a class. Then from afternoon i have to waited until 3pm for a class. After 3pm i am excited for the tutorial class. How do we know the lecturer didnt appear. I have waited for 1 hour. After go to fgo and ask why? they call me check wble. After checking only know that the lecturer has cancell the class. This means that i have waited so long to attend a cancelled class. The lecturer should be more aggressive in informing about cancellation of class. How does she expect every student to check wble every moment. She should call fgo staff to paste the information on the door of the class.After that i heading to computer lab and play games. As i know that the bus will move at 4.20 i play for a while. After playing for a few minutes until 4.13i stop. I went down, and see no bus at the parking site . I shock for a while, and asking myself that why the bus took off so early. It also means that i have to walk. After reaching home with tiring and some headache expression , i have been scholded by my mum. even if do not done annything wrong she still scholded me. What  can i say? I am speechless!! What a day..

Focusing To My Aim

Is already the month of august. A few month has already pass when i first enter foundation for sem 4. There is still 4 week left before my final examination. Although test 1 and report mark is quite high i am still not statifies, And i am looking forward for the test 2 mark. Although i did a few mistake but i still hope for the best. The real challange i will face after 4 week . It will be the last for foundation, because i will show what i have. To get A+. I am still Focusing to my aim without being interrupt. Nothing Can stop me from getting A+ .. NOTHING..

It happen again..

And it happen again. I guess i have get the highest mark for the report in the class. And it is 17.5/20, 19/20 and 19.5/20. The average mark is 18.67. Although i get high mark but what i aim for is the full mark. Feel a little of disappointment because cant get the full mark . The worst mark is the first full report.  What wrong with my first full report.Can you tell me my mistake?I purposely come ealier  to school and it was just a 10 minutes class. The lecturer should discuss where is the mark located, and he didnt do so..

I Get The Blame

It just so tired to have argue many times in midnight recently. Someone slamm the telephone and i think it has becoming unfunctionning. So the next day when i came back fron school and waited at klang bus stop, usually i will make a call to house using public phone. Because the telephone is being slamm so i call my dad phone. After call for a few time no one answer then i call house number once. Then i get the same result. Then i call my sis to call my dad to pick me up, and she say okey. When i walk halfway she call me and say a malay pick the call . I say that it is impossible that a malay pick my dad mobilephone unless  it have been stolen. Then my sis call me walk home and she say that she will rush back. At same time my other sis call me say that our neighbour saw no one in the house. When i think about it , it is getting weird, because my parents usually leave a message if they go out. Despite pain in the stomach i rush home. When i reach they are all in the house. At the moment my sis already arrived. She feel so scare and burst into tears because she think that something might happen. But actually is that my dad mobile phone is keep in a drawer that he cannot actually hear the phone ringing . About the malay that pick up the call remain unknown .And the situation that happen i get the blame by my parents because scare my sis. I am speechless after get the blame.

When evil come

When evil side owerhelming someone it is so terrifying. When it come everything that we did , we will not realise it and dont even know what we did. I have did something that is bad , when i realise it i hate myself for doing it. At the moment i dont really know what i am doing . I just need to control myself so that it will not overhelming. But i dont know how. God please teach me.

Non Stop..

Being interrupt in the early morning. Hear that is a bad news. I am speechless and i have no idea on what is happening and what should i do. Is just so complicated and disappointing because it happen without nonstop though a lot of action is taken.Hope God will help to solve all the problem that i have face.

Got The Blame

No matter what i did i always got the blame from my family. Whether is right or wrong they will blame me. Sometimes the thing that i dont do ,also i got the blame. I just dont like to be in this situation. That is their pattern. They just like to make  a small matter worst and more complicated.

Highest So What

After recieving my chemistry test result on monday i realise that i have the highest mark among the two lecture class. But i am not quite happy with the result.After receiving a mark that is 37.5/45 i am disappointed. I start to thin that " what am i doing"? I shouldnt get the mark , i should get at least 40 or full mark . I am not statifies with the result.I feel bad because such a easy question i cannot get full mark.I cant expect myself to compete with other student because the thoughest competitor is my self not other. Every time i get the result that i am not expect to get, i am determine to push my self harder so that i can get what i set for.

E_ _ L Side

Do human have dark/evil side. I think is yes. And this feeling make me hate everything. And make me shouted to theperson that i dont want to shout.I feel bad after that.

I Feel Bad When I Become Evil & Paying = No changes

No matter what i did, good or bad, right or wrong i always got the blame. I am tired of being blame. I just hate to be aggresive and i am trying my best not to be aggresive. please dont test my patient, because when it start what i have say and i dont meant to do it, i will do.Is just like  there is a evil side of mine when i get so angry. Plese dont start it. It could be so terrifying. All of them think i am evil/monster..

Who to blame when healing does not works. Is the doctor. I know not all disease can be cure. But the sickness that i saw is a normal sickness but made worst by the person itself. I just hate that when we pay a lot to the doctor , they just give some advice and some medication. After stepping outside the hospital they dont even care the patient. They have no commitment in treating patient, they just thinking of being paid by the patient.This situation well potrey human real intention. Definately not all the doctor is the same, there is some good one but rare.  paying a sum of money to doctor = Nothing/No change

A Simple Question With Confusion On The Answer..

Whenever i meet her , the first question that she ask me is "How are you". If last time without hesitation i will  answer that "i am not good". Then as time go, i change the answer to " Life is the same". But now i really dont know how to answer her.What i can answer is that "I really cannot answer your question"or" I really dont know how to answer your question" . If i say "i an fine/ good" that is a lie and i dont want to lie to you. But if i say " i am not good" i am making you disappointed. Because every time after she ask "How are you" she will ask " DO you feel better". I know she expect a positive result. And i hope that one day without any problem and hesitation i will answer to her that ' I Am Really Good"..

Out

Sometimes i am wondering   that when a person go outing with their friends and spend their time, how they can do that. I am definately not that type of person that going out every day or week or sometimes. It need a lot of sacrifices when going out. The minor sacrifices is transport and the major problem is money. Where did get the money .Is it from your parent  or your salary? Because i want to save for my universities used i use more the time in house rather than spending money outside. Although i feel like going out but i cant..

Will I Miss Home When I Stay Outside The House..

Yesterday have a conversation with someone. She said that when you are living outside other than own house we we starting to miss home, because home is the best compare to living outside. I am kind of speechless that moment, because i am not fully agree. I agree that home i the place that people will miss when they live outside for quite a while. But who like to live in a house that is full of argument and hatered.Tell me..

Tired of Argue

I am tired argue with you. Feel like dont want to stay at this house.everyday argue with you seem like so argue with a non existence problem. Hope will finish my foundation soon and move to KL so that i will see your annoying face annymore.

Stay Focus

Already 6 weeks gone. Still 9 weeks to go. And i am going to stay focus for what i aim for. What i aim for is an A for the only subject and going through Degree next few month.

Still Need To Go On

No matter what has happen life still need to go on. Coz  what has happen is a part of life. Feeling tired to care existing problem. Just dont want to care  that problem anny more.

To live is easy, but to keep living in this world is tough.

To live is easy, but to keep living in this world is tough. Through my point of view it means that living one day in this world will not make some one frustrationnand it will be a peacful and easy live. But to continue living in this world we encounter alot of problem that make life more tough.

Is already been a while i have encounter a problem that shouldnt be a problem. Whether i take action or not i will still be blame by the person that started the problem. When i take action on what someone do they will say that i am busybody and a lot of bad stuff, i also be blame on what i did. If i did nothing , when the future come when they realise it they will blame me for not taking action . Being human is not easy as it think. I am tired of getting into the same problem everyday. So tired. Whether to care or not I dont know?? God help me ..That only what i can say now..

Care What I Aim For

What i aim for now is what i want within this few month. I have a strong passion and determination to achive what i have aim for. Although i have to read it few times i dont mind. As long i understand it. I am lazy to care what happen around me, Right now what i care the most is what i aim for..

What To Say

Actually in my mind there is a lot of thing that i want to express. But what to tell ,because it is a lot and nobody want to be my listerner. Used to express to someone but dont have it now.

Can I Know What Wrong With Me

"Can I Know What Wrong With Me" That is a question that i wanna to ask someone that i add in a social networking site. I have added that person for almost a month but the person rather accept other person request than accepting my request. I dont see any problem , because we still talk when we saw each other. What is the real problem. I Dont Know... A friend request without feedback..

Money Do Matter Final Payoff

What i am trying to write on "money do matter " is that i am studying in foundation in utar pj and studying need money to continue. As i fail one subject i have to postpone my degree course 3 more month. Not only that ,i have to pay extra money for the sem 4, and the extra money is not  a small sum. I know the importance of money and foundation have make me use of that money. I just pay the school fees for sem 4 and i am very sure that ,that will be my final semester for foundation.Half of the fees was given by my sister and half of the fees is my saving. my father call me to use my money first then only he pay back to me. The problem is "I DONT MIND USE MY MONEY TO PAY THE SCHOOL FEES" so i hope that he will not pay that money back to me. My saving in my house from a few hundred  become  a few ringgit.I am not complaining , just hope that the fees is worth to pay for. I will not forget the money that my sister give it to me. I will pay X2 to her  when i have the ability to work in future. That is why "Money Do Matter Final Payoff" means that this will be my last time paying for foundation.

Money Do Matter 3..

Hearing parents complaining that the price of the thing that they buy is getting expensive. Could not do annything. Still have  a student fees that is not paid yet. Money really important in somebody life. A car need fuel to run while a human need money to survive.

Money Do Matter 2..

Actually it is not my pocket that burn , Is the person that pay for my fees . I want to pay it using my money ,but certainly  my parents would not give me use my money coz when i entering degree i would require a lot of money for survival . I Feel so bad that they have to pay for my fees.

Money Do Matter

Student bil just came out after checking. Is what i expected, Have to pay more than 1k. Just like burning my pants pocket. In this World  Money Do Matter.

Ee seong 's Word

Ee Seong.. Just feel so tired , but life still need to continue. My journey to conquer  this world will never stop here although in this life I face alot of barrier. I believe thatMe(Jeffrey Eng Ee Seong) will not give up easily. There will be no gain in life is there is no pain. Pain is the best option for people to learn courage in life.Human will learn from mistake, the mistake that we done can be a tool to improve ourself and it can boost our peformence(hope so).  In this world we need to understand that how the world works, we should not hope other people to understand for you. When i manage to understand the world  i will going and  i am going to conquer the World.. That is My Word(with strong determination)..

Life 3..

Study just one subject and 2 day a week is really boring. But i still hope that i will fully occupy the time i had to repeate as many time as possible for the subject that i used to fail. And now by repeating it and read many time hope that i will get a good result. That is my hope in ending my foundation in Pj. Still looking for A+.

Get blame

Always get blamed for the thing that other people started.what can i say when mum always blame me for the thing that i have done and thing that i do not do. i just keep quiet in order not to create more argument, i have done with argument ,every argue. I also cant say annything when they want to complain with us when other people done something wrong, is just like we are the person that done wrong, while the person that have done wrong it just act like nothing happen.

Hope to recover...

Lately my chest feel a little bit   pain . Just hope that the pain is not what the pain that i think about. Just hope that  IS NOT  partially block of fats on my coronary arteries that can cause angina. God please make sure  that i am physically healthy.  Hope that my health can be better in time.

Life 2...

Is just a normal day. Thinking what to do and what will do. Just hoping the thing that i want i will have it. I have a strong determination to pass the only one subject in foundation and i will achieve it. I have started doing revision on the subject that i cannot pass since the final exam of sem 3 over, keep on repeating the same thing and hopefully i will be able to do it and i aim for a higher grade.

Get addicted to christina perri song  a thousand year. Is nice not only the song but also the video.

Life..

Semester 4 is the most boring sem throughout foundation. I only study 2 days a week. What can i do in the rest of the week? I really need to find something so that i am not going to waste my time. Never  know because of my silly mistake(fail in org chem) have this consequenses. My parent have to pay on what i have done. I just feel that i Really Make Them Disappointed. And I am not going to repeat the same thing again.

The First Day Of Semester 4

Yesterday was the first day for sem 4. Is kind of humiliating when i first step my foot at utar , the first question that people ask me is "WHAT SUBJECT YOU FAIL" . Is kind of shame and dissapointing for me. Then after that is the matter of money. Renewel of id cost Rm 25, school fee need to pay more than Rm1k and the most shocking news for me that they say if i apply loan for october i will only able to get it on jan or may . All of the thing in this world need money.

I Just Hate That Kind Of Feeling..

I just help my dad search information.He request me to search the amount of balance loan  for the ptptn loan that she(someone) borrow. I spend some time searching and being scolded by dad because i dont really know how to check  the debt for her. And you know what, she is still in the bed sleeping. She has no responsibilities at all. She dont even give money to my parents and she expected my parents to pay all her debt. How are my parents  going to get more than 20k to pay her debt. they dont even worked. She do not take responsibilities on what she actually did. I just hate that, I hate her and I hate that feeling. I think soon i will face some finance difficulties. I just hope she will not always depend on my father saving. Now i try my best not to depend on my dad money because he is not working. But that fact is no , i cannot . All thing in my life need money to solve. What i can do, GOD please help me..

Disappointment

When i open my Facebook, there is a few person discussing about their timetable. When i look at it , it was their degree timetable. At that moment all the feeling just come out. Feeling of disappointment.  After that moment i have determine to work even more harder to pass the only one subject. I am determine to pass. When i say i am DETERMINE , i mean it. Although i fail once , but i strongly believe that failure is the ROOT to SUCCESS..

NO ONE HAS NO PROBLEM IN THIS WORLD

Today is a normal day with the same routine. Next week will start schooling hope that i can pass the ONLY ONE SUBJECT next sem. Same routine means same problem. In this world There IS NO ONE HAS NO PROBLEM IN THIS WORLD .That is the truth, even the famouse and the rich will face problem. We will look down if we face problem. we also will look extremely look down if the person that we care face problem. Some problem can be solve easily. But some problem can't. No matter how hard we try to solve the problem ,it will be only lead your heart to hurt. I really hope that all the person that i care most  and all person in this world will face all the problem that they face with courage. Please remain STRONGER when you face Problem.

Endless

What i see everyday in my house is a lot of argument . The argument suppose not exist. But someone created it, and i have no idea what is the purpose of doing that. When an argument involve two person it will increase to three then four at last all of them argue. It is just like NUCLEAR FISSION. An electron is shoot to one neutron it will divided to two then four and so on.. Why a family have to be that way everday?  Every single day facing the same problem and it get worse. What can i do to solve this problem ? I cant do annything. Is all depend on god and the determination of the person that started to stop all the conflict and chaos that the person created....

What a Friend's

In this world are FRIENDS important? Maybe sometimes it is important and sometimes it is not important. In order to find a friend it is easy ,but in order to find A TRUE FRIEND is not easy as it seem. Should i  say that to friend is just  like, getting a true friend in  one in a million ,ermm... perhaps one in a billion , or maybe one in a trillion. most of the people in this world just so selfish and always think for their own good, so if we have been betrayed is just like a normal thing.  So what, is that importaant, i will make sure that i will keep a distance from you next time i see you. 

Result

Is already a few day after i receive my result for my third sem in foundation in science in utar. Before i check the result some one tell me that the result is already out. I felt nervous and decided to check it at the night. Before i check i Pray Hardly so that i can get a good result. After looking  at my result, i get confuse for a while because i am too nervous and i cant think normally. After a few second i regain my thinking. Although i pass all the subject but the result that i have do not meet my expectation.I just keep on thinking what should i do to get a result that meet my expectation. I have to do something in order to get a brilliant result and i will do it. I will find a way. After getting the result what suprise me is the math result. I did badly on the first and third test. Although i pass i do not get a higher grade, but i still be grateful coz i have a good teacher that always help me. Thanks Ms Hor.

Frustration

When i feel frustrated the only thing that i can say  is GOD please help me . Please show me to the right pathway. Please help the people around us. I know you will. Because you hear it.

Gift During Mother's Day

The question is what is the perfect gift to mum during mother day. Is it the combortable massage chair, or is a PRADA bag , perhaps is a LV purse , or a luxurious meal. All of the thing that i mention is not the perfect gift. What mum really want during mother day is a comfortable , peacful day. And what they wish for is all their son & daughter be in a good health condition. That what all mum in the world wish for. What they wish for is not only for theirself, they always thinking of their children no matter where they are and what the do.. This can be achieve easily by mum if all the member in a family cooperate.. 

Please Accept The Truth...

Every day doing the same thing dont you feel bored. I am sick of how you act.It just like endless, continue non stop.Can you stop that . Just because of something minor , you make it a major one .It not only affect you your self, it affect all of us. why dont you just ACCEPT THE TRUTH... Lying your self is just so cruel to other people. Please be considerate to other. GOD please Help Her to forget the past and let her lead a normal life.

A Person That Cannot Accept The Truth

A Person That Cannot Accep The Truth.. This can lead to dep.. In biological term dep is a person feel anxious.But i think that dep is a person with a mind that is so powerful that they can created a time travel in their mind. In their mind they can go backward the time where they cannot accept the truth and stuck at there until they can accept the truth. As long as the person cannot accept it they will stuck on the past time interval and they will create more stories on that particular time.

I just cant understand why people in this modern day just cannot be open minded. Cannot accept the truth is just like a person that lied to themself.. So why should we lie to our ownself, we can accept the truth and just lead a normal life.

A Person That Inspire Me

A Person That Inspire Me with her word is my bio lecturer Ms Tina Neik. Her advise is just so inspire to me. All the advise that she gave to me i ,will not forget it coz i think it is useful  in order for me  to continue my journey in this world.. she is also a person that i can talk to. And a person that i can ask question about bio if i have any curious question about bio..

 

There is hope in life. No one is beyond help or hopeless. All of us are

Created is our own special way

We are not perfect people, nor are we immune to failure. All of us face

challenges and sometimes failure in life. The question is, do we choose to

embrace it, face it and overcome it? Or complain about it and sulks at it.

I Will Not Forget the advice...

Dont Judge A Book By Its Content

In the movie or sometimes other people say that " Dont judge a book by its cover" it means that dont judge a person by your first impression.

But in my life it seem like it only happen sometimes. most of the time i can say that they judge a book by its content. Most of the time my parents will judge me by how i act without knowing my real intention/meaning..This is  just like a person who do not know who are you, only they can judge that way..It is just like reading a story book, you can imagine how the story is and how the person act but you dont know why they act that way and you judge the book by how it act and not knowing their meaning

So " Dont judge a book content"..

First

This is the first time i am blogging. I created this blog so that i can express myself. Although finding someone to express my self is better i still one express myself using this blog.